As I work on my healing, I realize that motivation and willpower alone may be far from enough to get what you want (see 3 Reasons You’re Not Getting What You Want). Now, I’m not Tony Robbins who can you offer you million dollars’ worth of advise, but I believe that if you can make consistent efforts in practicing the eight methods below, you will be closer and closer to realizing your desires.
1. Get Clear about What You Want
“What do you want?” Many might struggle to answer this question. As was discussed in the previous post, clarifying what you want is often a tug-of-war between the ego who chases material success and your authentic self that cares more about following your heart. You are never obliged to choose the latter, but it is the way to go if you seek true happiness, joy, and abundance. Being crystal clear about what you want is like having a prominent lighthouse that helps you stay in the right direction and navigate through difficulties.
If you still prefer to align with an egoic goal, such as applying for jobs you don’t like for the money, commit to it. There is nothing more tormenting than doing one thing while dreaming about the other. Accept yourself for not being ready to chase what you genuinely want yet and focus intently on whatever you pick. We never know how future will unfold: somewhere along the path, you might be guided back to your highest desires in a more comfortable manner when you are ready for it.
2. Believe You Can Have It
Beliefs are thoughts, thoughts lead to actions, and actions determine results. Without an unwavering faith that you will get what you want, goal-setting won’t give you much power. We create our reality, and we can have whatever we want.
We might all have negative beliefs that deter us from aiming high and reaching for our goals. “I don’t deserve it,” “I’m not good enough,” “There is too much competition,” and “I can’t do what I like and support myself” are a few among a vast ocean of limitations that we have taken on from our caregivers and the society, and many of us allow them to shackle ourselves. Realize that beliefs are nothing more than what our mind perceives to be real and can be strengthened or weakened as we learn to reprogram our mind. Replace your self-doubt and other limiting conditionings with positive beliefs that serve you.
Letting go of old beliefs won’t happen overnight—the chances are that you might still experience self-doubt even though you know in your head that you deserve and have every power to get what you want. Don’t resist it when it happens. Let your doubt pass through you without judging or identifying with them. The less emotional energy you lend to them, the less charged they will become, and easier it is to eradicate them.
3. Accept Where You Are
To get what you want, you first have to admit that you don’t have it or have it the way you want it right now. Many of us habitually go into denial mode when we are to acknowledge our current situations and admit that “I’m not happy,” “I don’t have money,” or “I’m at a job that I hate,” as if it made us look incompetent and miserable. Realize that we, pieces of Divinity, are unconditionally loved and naturally worthy. It is the parental and social programming that we have received since childhood that convinces us that mundane achievements are essential for us to be loved.
Accepting where you are doesn’t mean that you stop moving. It is merely an acknowledgment that you are where you are supposed to be, and there is nothing wrong with you. Without identifying your current position, you won’t even have a starting point with which you can devise an optimal path to where you aim to go, let alone to take any meaningful actions. Own and embrace your conundrums—they are stepping stones to your destination, then you have the power to transform them into something pleasant and favorable.
4. Act on Inspiration Rather than Motivation
Actions are essential to get what you want; but when you are inspired, you hardly need anyone to kick your butt to move. Inspirations are your Higher Self communicating with you and offering you tips and ideas on how to get what you want; they can only reach you when you align with your highest joy and purpose, and they are often beyond your wildest imagination. Follow your inspirations and swing into actions without fear or hesitance.
Much as our society often sings the praise of motivation, in my opinion, it is a double-edged sword. While a small dose of it pumps up your energy every now and then, actions based on “I want it so much” signifies a state of lack and might attract more lack into your life. You needn’t force anything to get what you want in the Universe—allow yourself to be at ease and be inspired.
5. Persevere with Self-Love Rather than Willpower
The more energy you put into something, the more likely it will come into forms—that’s why persistent efforts matter. Nevertheless, laboring yourself with willpower can lead to all kinds of problems, such as chronic fatigue, energy depletion, and depression. Besides, persistent actions based on the fear that you might fail are often forceful and controlling in nature and can inadvertently sabotage your efforts.
Perseverance out of self-love, however, lifts up your vibration and eases your path to getting what you want. Some people might mistake self-love for self-indulgence—which often leads to lack of discipline and grit, but this is not the case. On the contrary, a self-loving decision often means you don’t give in when challenges hit, you don’t whine when things go unexpected, and you hold on to what you want although it hasn’t come to fruition yet. At other times, it can also mean resting when your body needs it, rejecting extra workload however significant it seems or taking a vacation to rejuvenate. You wouldn’t know the answer until you ask the question “what would I do I love myself?” Follow the answer, and you will be maximizing your chance of getting what you want.
6. Stay Present
The energy you carry fuels your actions, which determine the results. The more focused and excited you are, the quicker you will be able to actualize your desire, whether it is meeting a sales target, achieving financial freedom, or acquiring a new skill. Let go of past experiences that discourage you from stepping forward, quit worrying about the future that you know too little to predict, stay present, and savor the sweetness of doing what you love. The high frequency that you carry—with sufficient amount of time—will eventually draw to you what you have asked for.
7. Be Patient with the Process
Sometimes, we think we have got everything right, but the Universe is still not responding. Understand that getting what we want is, by virtue of The Law of Attraction, a frequency matching game: our relatively low frequency at the moment elevates to match the higher frequency of joy, love, success, and abundance. Whenever there is a mismatch between the frequency that we hold and the frequency of the things that we want, our desires won’t manifest.
We all deserve what we want and are good enough to get it; it is years of negative programming that have drained our energy and sunk our frequency, and it takes time for these limitations to surface so that we can dissolve them. Whenever you feel stuck or let down that your dream hasn’t come to fruition yet, it is the Universe showing you that you still have negative conditionings that are holding you back. Take it as a chance to look for hidden beliefs and transform limitations.
You are always where you are supposed to be. Persist with patience and joy, and the Universe will eventually yield to you.
8. Detach from the Results
We often take life and ourselves too seriously, and we think that we must get this, we must manifest that, and the Earth must spin in the way we want. But every time we get tied up to the results and create anxiety, worry, and even pain for ourselves, we forgo a moment to enrich our experiences and appreciate the fun of life and doing what we do. Ironically, this both creates resistance to getting what we want (which frustrates our ego) and limits our growth (which disappoints our soul).
All material pursuits are valid and essential, but our purpose on this plant in this incarnation is to experience and evolve and to be joyful—don’t wait until the day when your soul exits your body to remember this. As long as you have lived, learned, and grown, you cannot lose.